New York Islanders
Do you hear that? Do you? It’s the choir of angels sending John Tavares down to Earth, Long Island specifically, and he is here for one reason: to dominate. But will he dominate starting in October? That remains to be seen. We did get him for a reason.
(Yes I’m well aware at how horrible this mock photoshop job is)
We came in last place last season not only because we sucked, but we led the league in man games lost to injury with around 566. No one on the team last year played every game. Mark Streit led the team with 74 Games played. We had like 16 players called up from Bridgeport (our AHL affiliate). Not to mention our biggest loss, once again, was our goalie fo’ life Ricky DiPietro, and he might be out again once more.
This is still funny.
The Islanders are rebuilding, there is no secret about that, and this season might look the same as the last, but I think we’re getting there. (We also really need that freaking Lighthouse) Don’t tell our fan base that, because their patience is wearing thin. You thought we won a playoff series on June 26th:
Guys they shot confetti at us. Confetti! One of the most awesome experiences being there, watching TV on the jumbotron and just screaming our heads off. Surreal.
To get a feel for our team, Bruno Gervais is going to teach you how to spend your intermission at the game:
General Manager- You know him as goalie turned GM Garth Snow
Head Coach-Scott Gordon
Team Captain- Billy Guerin re-signed with Pittsburgh, so now we are captain-less. Potential candidates are Doug Weight, Mark Streit, Brendan Witt, Trent Hunter, Richard Park, or Kyle Okposo. I think Tavares has to play at least one game to show some kind of “leadership.” It’s possible we might go with all ‘A’s’ this upcoming season.
Player Everyone Should Love: Oh boy. Well I want everyone to love Sean Bergenheim, but as shown in the video above everybody loves Bruno Gervais. For you Max Talbot fans out there, they’re BFFs and they room together in the offseason. And have a golf tournament (that was from last year, plus Penguins sightings!). So if you love Max Talbot, you could show Bruno some love too.
Player We Don’t Love- Jon Sim. Sorry. He’s not even listed on the team’s website, so maybe he’s going to be waived for the third time come training camp.
Who They Got- John Tavares, Dwayne Roloson, Martin Biron (!!!) and a bunch of depth signings for Bridgey
Who They Lost- Joey MacDonald, Yann Danis, Mike Sillinger, Thomas Pock, Dean McAmmond, Andy Hilbert, and a bunch of Bridgey players as well
Located At- Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum. Hopefully by October we’ll have some sort of green light for the Lighthouse
Hotness Level (on a scale from 1 to 10)- 5. I think all kinds of attractiveness can be found on the Isles squad. Little girls to grandmothers can find anything from ‘adorable’ to ‘yowza’ on the team. But I don’t think they’re overloading on hotness, sorry boys. I’ll try to find some photographic evidence and you guys can tell me what you think
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